Notes About Boundaries

Boundaries are very important in all kinds of relationships and friendships. Our intern outlined some important things to keep in mind when setting and maintaining your personal boundaries:

Emotional boundaries are an important part of making sure you feel safe and comfortable in your relationship, and trusting someone to feel safe around them.

Physical boundaries are important because you don’t want to be touched all the time or you may want space. These boundaries can be a good indication of how healthy your relationship is.

Digital boundaries are lines you draw in your life online. It’s not always clear what your digital relationships should look like, and different people may make different decisions.

How can we notice when someone doesn’t respect our boundaries? 
An example is when you them to stop and the keep doing it, when you feel shame for saying "no," or when you sense something is “off.”

Some emotions you might feel when someone doesn’t respect our boundaries:

  • Mad
  • Upset
  • Scared
  • Distance
  • Worried

When we speak up for our boundaries, the person we're talking to may feel hurt or angry and this may lead to a conflict. An unhealthy way to deal with conflict is not addressing it: Anger that we ignore can turn into guilt or potentially depression. A healthy way to deal with conflict is to consult others, note your concerns, and prepare to talk about it with the person directly.